Caption Contest Winner & My Plan For Taking Over Greenland

And the winner is...

from The New Yorker

And the winner is...well, not us. Many are telling me this sums up how they are feeling. Never mind looking away, I don’t even know anymore what I’m looking at, if it’s real or fake. I am tired of being duped on Facebook and Instagram. I was thinking I was looking at Hooper paintings, when I learned they were AI fakes. All I can say is I am not AI. I think.

Caption Contest Winner

The winner of The Hot Sheet caption contest (chosen by their staff) was:

“I can’t swear. I’m a children’s book.”

Congratulations to Susan Wickes!

Jeff Sawyer was runner-up with, “You do realize I'm fiction” and will be receiving one of my cartoon collection books. I thought all three were good. I wasn’t informed yet who came in third but happy to hear from you in teh comments. Let’s do this again some time.

I am trying to keep my sanity by publishing pieces like this below (in the new Funny Times) yet like so many, feel so powerless in these times. It’s small to hope for that “I told you so” moment that is not coming, anyway. Oh, it’s coming for us, but not for those who voted us into this peril. I learned many years ago, those “I told you so” moments never happen, either in personal relationships or business. Nothing happens the way they play out in your head.

This is an ugly story but I will share it anyway. In high school I had an art teacher who absolutely hated me and the failing grade he gave me could have been a real problem for my college applications. I worked hard in his class, did good work but he was determined to make an example of me—he saw me as a confident, brash artist who was determined to make an impression in the arts. I learned nothing from his class. This experience, hating high school, having such a disconnect with everyone in my school, and a friend planting an idea in my head, encouraged me to do what she was doing: sneaking in in college classes instead of being in high school. So, the next year I wound up attending college, unofficially, skipping my senior year (you could never get away with that now, I know. My mom worked in my high school’s attendance. She worked there because she loved her school years and was more into school than I. Pep rallys, homecomings, all things school spirit she loved (I went with my friend on prom night instead to see the Split Enz at the Ritz, who didn’t come on stage until 4am.). I was told by my other teachers that my art teacher was shocked when informed I was accepted to Cooper Union, which at the time, was considered the best art school, despite his efforts.

Years later my high school invited me to speak there, an accomplished alumni and then adjunct professor at Pratt Institute and School of Visual Arts. Surely, I thought, this would be my sweet revenge as if his disdain for me helped motivate me to teach at these places just for this one day of retribution. My high school was the last place I wanted to return to…except to collect my “I told you so” moment, a dozen years in the making.

So I accepted and I dressed up. I even planned to park my new sports car adjacent to the art department and make an entrance at that side door. My presentation was to include my accolades, aimed solely for his sake. That day I was greeted by the other art teachers but I was looking past their kind, friendly faces for my nemesis. I asked where, Mr. ________ was, “Oh, he passed away. Sadly, died of cancer.” Well, that didn’t end well for any of us, did it?

From Funny Times

Grey Towers, Milford, PA

I love the idea of plein air painting (painting outdoors), but I never get a chance myself—I can never disappear long enough from my clients and deadlines to set-up and focus like that for a few hours. But I decided I have to make more of an effort.

There’s always been a part of me that gets defensive when I’m asked if I work digitally or traditionally. To me it’s all just reaching into your toolbox and grabbing the right tool for the job. The logistics of a job dictates that decision and lately, with rates actually lower than when I worked exclusively traditionally (in gauche, acrylic and French crayons) on assignments. Back then I handed the finish work to the Art Director or mailed the final. The deadlines were further apart and the pay good enough to justify leisurely working all week on one assignment. Nowadays I must be able to complete three or so small jobs or illustrated pages (big jobs like multi-page features I did for SPY and other publications are simply non-existent) a day to just make ends meet. Sometimes I have but a couple of hours to start and finish something. Thus, everything must be emailed and prepped electronically (color-corrected, formatted, etc.).

So, oil painting and painting outside is a rare luxury. While it's hard to imagine painting outside in this cold now, the beautiful Grey Towers of Milford, PA is conducting a painting event, April 26, from 10:00 am - 3:00 pm. It's free only to people watching the event. For those who would like to paint, there is a fee of either $20 or $35, depending on the location of you choose (and the artist must provide the table, easel, etc. and you need to register HERE).

“This plein art show carries on a cherished family tradition…The event will feature a diverse range of artistic expressions, allowing attendees to engage with the artists and learn about their creative processes. Artwork will be available for purchase, providing an opportunity to support local talent and acquire unique pieces. Enjoy the grounds of this historic site while discovering the diverse talents of the region’s artistic community.” —Grey Towers

My writing expert friend, Jane K. Cleland, is conducting a webinar called, Mastering Suspense, Structure & Plot: A Comprehensive Overview.

This class is based on her Agatha Award-winning book of the same title, covering tactics to increase suspense, streamline structure, and create twisty plots. It takes place February 19, at 7 p.m. Eastern and is limited to Guppies, a community of supportive writers. One can find a list of member benefits here. If you join, you can sign-up for the FREE webinar here.

Painter friend, Carlo Savo, has an oncoming show March 7 at Urban CoWorks (116 N Washington Ave 3rd Floor in Scranton, PA) around 5 pm. He was just shortlisted for the VAA international exhibition and scholarship award. Carlo used to be an auctioneer and is now a fine artist and photographer. A previous project of his including paintings from his former vocation, as seen above. Go to his link to join his mailing list for all details for upcoming shows.

Finally, I’d want to invite everyone in NYC to my upcoming book event sponsored by the beautiful, new Fountain Bookshop in Upper Manhattan (803 W 187th St, NYC, (646) 438-9218) for an evening of fun and chat, March 1st, Saturday at 7 pm For space reasons, we will be gathering at the adjacent Dutch Baby Bakery (their food is outstanding) and I will give a slideshow of cartoons and artwork, share anecdotes, take questions about humor, publishing and The New Yorker, and sign books for anyone interested (on hand will be Illustrated History of the Snowman, Footnotes From the World’s Greatest Bookstores, Footnotes From the Most Fascinating Museums, The Complete Book of Cat Names (Your Cat Won’t Answer To Anyway) and my postcard set of bookstores.).

Fountain Bookshop, also has a gift selection and in house ice cream & soda fountain.

DIRECTIONS: GPS 813 W 187th St, Manhattan. There are parking meters right out front but after 7pm they are free.

By subway it’s the A train. Go to the 181st stop. Get out on the north end toward 184th St. and take the elevators up to Fort Washington Ave. Take a short walk north and make a left at 187th St. Both the bookstore and the bakery are right there on your right.

Hope to see you there!

Thank you for all the wonderful mail and thank to you those who use The Bob as their primary news source.

Please share with a friend who nneds a break.