Erma Bombeck Recap
& Humor Writing Advice
I hope my cousin Dayna is reading this. Dayna, I want you to take back all the things you said about Dayton. I had a great time there attending the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. Dayton is really beautiful.1 Dayna, I suggest we go to Erma 2028 together in two years (Dayna was a stand-up herself and is very funny).
So, I’m anxious to share my thoughts with everyone who was there with me.2 First a word about how I got here.
Every flight to Dayton requires a change over. Comedian Carole Montgomery and Sona Movsesian both had the same joke I had and I’m guessing everyone at the conference. Sona said in her keynote, “I was shocked to find out this city is the birthplace of aviation because when I was looking at flights to get here from Los Angeles, everything had about six connections. Who knew the birthplace of aviation would be so hard to fly to?”
(Carole runs Funny Women of a Certain Age. The Stadium in Woonsocket, RI, April 25th. funnywomenofacertainage.com. Sona’s new book, The World’s Worst Assistant, is a NY Times bestseller.)
Yep, Dayton is birthplace of the Wright Brothers, and one would think there is a direct flight to Dayton, Ohio. No matter where you started from. Anybody who says it’s all about the journey, didn’t fly last week. I spent a day at LaGuardia where half the Departures were cancelled. It IS a beautiful newly spruced up airport but after 13 hours, it would’ve been nice to see another.
I arrived just in time to speak at my workshop, missing the day before and any pre-conference frivolities. I never made it to the pool or gym.
What I did attend was impressive. I feel like each visit to Erma the classes and speeches get better. And many familiar faces. It was great reconnecting.
A quick thank you to the volunteers and Teri’s staff; Sarah, Luke, Frank, Julie…to those I continue to learn from and encouraged by; Tiffany, Jane, Eva, Katrina, Cindy, Kathy, Mark, and many others. Special thanks to others who kept me laughing too numerous to list but just naming randomly; Sona, Leighann, Ann. There was a lot more people I spent quality time with, so please include yourself here—you know who I mean.
And thanks to those who attended my workshop I did with Mark Shatz. A lot of fun and a lot of good ideas were covered. Attendees told me the class really helped. We weren’t able to get to all the questions but will answer them in the newsletter over time. I know some readers are not into the writing advice stuff (or really long newsletters), so the Erma & writing deep-dive will be for just paid subscribers.
After the session, I called my mom to check in on her and to let her know it went well. “Dad would have been proud of me.” I can hear her get a little choked up as I continued, “…I already had six cups of coffee this morning.” My father was addicted to caffeine and pasta.
Eventually I made it home—again my flight was canceled, and my detour included going in the wrong direction for a while to Atlanta. At some point I saw Cuba outside my plane window.
So many told me how exhausted they were from the conference. Me, too. I workshop-hopped and in between sessions, I had many conversations in the hallways, speaking to writers about their projects and talking shop.
It took a couple of days to finally get a chance to discuss with my wife a situation weighing on my mind. She was also decompressing from her West Coast business trip. (I should mention, this aside is solely for Michael Maslin.3 If you are not him, skip story, especially if you have somewhere to go.)
I told my wife we were done—the last two times I ordered from Exclusive Pizza, it was terrible. I have started a strict diet, anyway, to get on a healthy track so the timing was right. She was very supportive and agreed that something between us (Exclusive and us) was off. In the past year, we both agreed that unless Pablo was working that day, ordering pizza was off the table. But now, NO more pizza.
About an hour later, I suggested we get one last slice to confirm they went downhill—if, IF, Pablo was there. Since we were getting it in person, we agreed it didn’t make sense not to order a whole pie (and a side salad to stay on my health kick). I called and said, “Is Pedro working today?”
“No, there is no Pedro here?”
“Who is this?”
“I’m Pablo!”
“I meant Pablo! Sorry. Great! I only order when you’re there.”
“[Ha.] The others don’t know what they doing.”
Well, I think it was the best pizza we ever had. Everything is right in the world, again.4
