Exclusive Peek Into My Sleep Journal
And Contractor Cartoons
I promise this will be the last you hear about my ongoing sleep study…until someone asks me to do a book and then movie about it:
I was encouraged to keep a sleep journal and document what I actually think about as I lay awake at night. I thought it would be helpful for those, going through a similar predicament.
NOTE: The journal can be any type of notebook although I’ve found the ones with the paisley marbleized patterns on the cover and cloth spines work best. Here’s some the less character-destroying entries;
3/28. Tonight I spent hours wondering how my life would have been different if I had a cool name like Wolf Blitzer.
3/14. I decided I now have reservations about my favorite movie Dodgeball. I think it’s interesting how everyone forgets the cringe-worthy car-wash fundraiser scene. Can we all agree (who saw the movie) that whole stretch should have been cut?
3/21. I cannot erase what I saw in the Men’s bathroom at QuikChek. Yes, I AM stereotyping as I judge who did, and did not, leave before washing their hands. Is there no way of stripping individuals from their right to vote based on disgusting habits?
3/12. I am staring at the ceiling creating for myself a list of the lowest rank in the military;
Dollar General. The new Starbucks, going up every half mile.
Cap’n Crunch. Crunch? More like Cap’n Soggy.
The General Auto Insurance guy with the mustache. Hate him.
Captain Obvious from Hotels dot com. I really liked him.
I could go on, but what’s the point?
When will the dreams of being in college and being late for the next lecture, unable to find the room, ever end?
Feel free to post yours in the Comments.
New Poll
I know many of you have been waiting for the results of my new poll regarding how long to wait for a contractor, plumber, or electrician to resurface. I proceeded accordingly and found someone new. They did, shockingly, show up and they did a great job.
To recap, the first three promised to come meet me but all three never kept our appointment and ignored my messages attempting to find out what happened. In all fairness, it’s deer season or probably something. Oh yeah, March Madness.
My funny friend, Michael Dermansky, is performing at the The Peoples Improv Theater (154 West. 29th St., NYC) next Thursday: “A lonely husband desperate for friends writes to Keith Urban after forming an imaginary connection after buying is 30 Songs in 30 Days instructional guitar DVD from an infomercial…” Click HERE (or teh ad) to purchase tickets (they are only like $11).
Our sponsor, The Benefit Shop, has great auctions and fun stuff. Click on their ad below to check out their upcoming auction this Wednesday.
Here is my Pick of the Week at that auction.
I have been thinking about trains lately.
I initially pitched the cartoon earlier to the cover editor of The New Yorker. I believe they prefer you add the title and the iconic left spine. I submit cover sketches about once a month. I have never made a sale. Another editor, who is no longer there, informed me, I have come close before. His leaving is unrelated.
A black and white version of this was bought by a magazine but never ran. I have no idea what happened but this has happened before. Hopefully I will get paid. Sometimes you don’t. As a cartoonist, you don’t have much leverage as we don’t want to burn bridges—pun intended.
There are signed copies of my new book, Footnotes from the Most Fascinating Museums, all around the country, with the latest being at the Upper West Side Barnes & Noble on Broadway near 82nd St. and The Fountain Bookshop on 187th St. in Upper Manhattan. Write to me if you’d like to near the nearest museum and bookstore with signed copies, or let me send you a signed bookplate and bookmark. And I can also personalize it, if you plan to give it as a gift.
Special thanks to Michael Rhode for sharing this photo from the Smithsonian Museum of American Art, where my new book is smack in the middle of the cherry blossom action down in DC.
The Robin Williams-Al Pacino film was INSOMNIA, released in 2002. I lived in Alaska 1997-2003, but I see they filmed it in British Columbia. I never lived north enough to experience the 6 months of darkness/6 months of daylight as towns near the Arctic Circle, maybe Kotzebue and Nome, certainly Barrow.
We started out at the end of the Alaska Peninsula, in King Cove. In winter, the sun rose a little above the horizon about 10:30 a.m. and wobbled brightly until it set in a figurative “west” about 3:30 p.m. In summer, the light didn’t diminish enough until 1:00 or 2:00 a.m., and that was more like twilight until sunrise.
Some people put foil over their windows or pulled dark curtains or wore sleep masks. I do think many people experienced Serotonin Syndrome during the summer months.
We ended up later in Wasills while Sarah Palin was mayor. We travelled in different social circles.
Great cartoons, Bob. Sometimes when I run into you, I just can't find the words. Really great!
Mark