Summer Reading

How To Cheat At Scrabble

from The New Yorker

from West Side Rag

I am resending today’s newsletter due to a computer glitz that eliminated and garbled the first paragraph. So here it is, again, without the paywall and hopefully this time there won’t rewlaying g zzz 45t aaaaf.

I grew up playing games but only now appreciate how important growing up playing games, especially with your family, can be. It brings families closer, makes kids smarter, develops concentration and poise. But I also think it teaches children how to handle competition. I know a couple individuals who cannot handle the concept of competition at all, in all its aspects, professionally and socially. I often find they never played games (or sports) growing up.

I am currently getting my own game off the ground and doing something I’ve always wanted to do; design my own game. I will have to wait before discussing the specifics of it until it’s official, but soon. I will just say designing the game is one of the most enjoyable gigs I can remember.

O

My brother was friends with the person who was brought in the redesign Scrabble(during the Hasbro years, 2008 to 2014). From what I understand and was obvious when I played this new version of the game, he was someone unfamiliar with the game. His new design and changing of the all-important colors, made playing, maddening. Bonus score squares were camouflaged and the new design was disorienting for any long-time player.

New Hasbro redesign

I have a few different versions of Scrabble, including a fold-up travel one now that is next to the first-aid kit in the trunk of my car. I used to have an impossible-to-play micro magnetic edition, with micro vinyl letters that stuck to a plastic board and were very easy to lose. It was lost somewhere on some family vacation. If anyone spots it in a yard sale in Amish country, please let me know. I played throughout childhood with my grandmother and then when I was my cousin’s roommate. It was then, that together during my college years, we competed in local tournaments. After I won one of these small tournaments, the Scrabble mafia cornered me in the Mystery aisle of the library and pressured me into joining their Scrabble club. Scrabble clubs are all about either finding a regular game or playing tournaments. I vaguely remember the elevator pitch being that the Nationals were in D.C. and the Grand Prize was $10,000. There’s a documentary about this culture which I cannot name, as I don’t remember and won’t look up, because it was painful to sit through. Okay, it was called, Word Wars. But it was all about that “journey” (I promised never to use that word in this newsletter, but I had no choice).

One version I did not have because it’s $12,000.

So, I began going to these weekly Scrabble meetings. I was “given” a coach and a loose-leaf binder filled with Bingo combinations (7-letter words) and all the all-important, 2- and 3-letter words like Xi and Xu (14th letter of the Greek alphabet and a currency in Vietnam.). The first rule of Scrabble Club is to (insert your punchline here).

I learned that everyone is very serious about their Scrabble playing, to the point, it started becoming homework. I played in a regional tournament in which the seeded players were revered like famous athletes walking into a stadium. Games were played with speed clocks and tiles would fly into place when games were about to expire. There were all sorts of ways to game the system and with the clock, you could easily ruin the game and drag your opponent down with you, if you hated them, just for spite. This happened. My cousin enjoyed doing that.

The way to succeed and get 400+ points a round, necessary to keep pace with the top players, was to get three or so Bingos a game. A Bingo is using all your seven letters on the tile holder (I forgot what that was called but you will not be tested on this, like I used to be), which earns you 50 extra bonus points. There were three things one needed to do to win;

First, tile management; constantly using and getting rid of difficult letters, and hoarding easy letters that create Bingos. You need at least two a game to beat the better players.

Second, closing in the board by opening nothing, playing 2 and 3 letter words. Memorizing all those 2 and 3 letter words was, at this level of Scrabble, expected.

And finally, three, cheat.

I learned the tricks fast. I even wrote a published piece in Maxim magazine on how to cheat. Brailleing [sic] and feeling tiles in bags, in search of blanks, X’z and Z’s is a good start. Also using totally made-up words. Losing a challenge came with such a big penalty (lost turn), that players thought twice about challenging. This can be an effective, crafty strategy.

I’m proud to say, I came up with on my own; playing regular tiles upside down as a blank. There should be only two to a game not six or seven. I would let them know what I did later because part of my thing, was seeing their reaction of the news.

The lowest form of cheating would be to secretly use an iPhone to look up words. This could be done under the table. There are ways of blatantly cheating like this. When I regularly went to Atlantic City small-time poker games, I learned that cheaters in the big stakes blackjack games, used color lights built into the frames of glasses. Green taint meant hit, red light meant hold as their partner card counted over their shoulder using a handheld. I stopped playing poker in AC when I realized my opponents were getting signals from partners either in the game or watching.

The end of the Scrabble honeymoon began when I was handed a loose-leaf binder cheat sheet and asked to memorize 5,000 words before the semis of a regional Scrabble tournament. There I decided that was my last game. I didn’t squeal on the player, but my scholarly-dressed, bald, pipe-smoking opponent was using a tiny electronic device called SpellBound. You just input the letters on your tile, and the AI device tells you all the words you’re holding. I had no patience or interest going to Nerd Court, and I didn’t make a scene during the tournament as I was the new guy, the youngest there and it would have spoiled things for the others participating. But it was the last straw. This group of intense competitors had effectively sucked all the fun out of a game that I enjoyed so much.

That pursuit of becoming a Scrabble Master ended the way most my endeavors end, quitting. I have quit many things. I quit ping-pong, too. First, I lost in the finals of a rinky-dink professional table tennis tournament, again cheated. Down 11-10 in the seventh deciding game, my opponent quick-served me before I was set (you are supposed to present the ball and keep it in plain sight when you serve, when your opponent is ready.). That cost me $1,000 1st place prize. Then I played once more in the next and last tournament I ever played. A round robin, I lost every match and came in dead last. My last match was against a ranked German player dressed like a cyclist in my neighborhood, wearing tights covered in ads, except he really was sponsored. Again, I don’t remember the details but I believe I never won a single point and almost fainted of embarrassment afterwards, needing a cold compress and a therapist.

NEWS FLASH: Of course, this is all different now. For the first time in 75 years, Mattel is making a major change to the iconic board game Scrabble and touting a “No More Scoring” gameplay option. The new launch is a double-sided version of the famous board game — one side with the original game for those who want to stick to the long-time traditional version, and one side with a “less competitive” version to appeal to Gen Z gamers, called Scrabble Together, will include helper cards, use a simpler scoring system, be quicker to play and allow people to play in teams. Game researchers say younger players care less about winning then old farts like me.

If you would like to read more about my ping pong folly, there’s this piece from The New York Times.

My multi-talented friend Gary Sohmers (Antique Roadshow) is making his world premiere of Beasties, his Sci-Fi Rock Opera in Arlington, Massachusetts on Oct. 10th and 11th. 18 songs performed by an All-Star cast telling the story of an epic alien encounter at a concert in Central Park to try to save the Earth from climate destruction and corporate political corruption. TICKETS ON SALE - CLICK HERE.

The summer is not over yet and vacation plans are still on the table. Let my new museum book, Footnotes from the Most Fascinating Museums: Stories and Memorable Moments from People Who Love Museums, be your inspiration. Thank you to all the magazines and Best of lists for including me:

“I just love it. Beautiful…the book captures a moment in time in each of these museums.“ – Out of Office: A Travel Podcast

Thank you to the American Museum of Natural History where Footnotes from the Most Fascinating Museums is displayed front and center.

“Eckstein, known for his witty illustrations and keen observations, brings his signature style to this collection….his writing is engaging and humorous, making even the most arcane museum trivia entertaining.” — Travel N Itch

Thanks!