The Desert Island Edition Is Here

Vacation Issue

from the book, Send Help!

My wife and I haven’t had a vacation in years. The whole airport and airplane experience, once so exciting, is now so dreaded that has to be partly to blame. My biggest irrational stress is worrying there will be enough room for my carry-on. Everyone scrambling to squeeze in their bag…there’s always a guy at the bin adjacent your seat putting a cello in the over bin…everyone in First Class you pass looks like they are judging me and before I’m through the divider between classes, I’m rethinking my whole career, asking myself why I didn’t make more of myself and have to sit in the back instead of front up with all the successful cartoonists and humorists. Plus, fares seem so high now. All the good prices are airlines late night TV makes fun of. And so many friends traveling have returned from their vacation sick. I try to trick myself into thinking that people plan to vacation in New York City and we should pretend we’re on a vacation.

From Jane Friedman’s The Hot Sheet

My “Can Only Bring Ten Comedy Items to a Desert Island” List

1. Fran Lebowitz’ Pretend It’s A City. Rewatched Fran Lebowitz’ Pretend It’s A City. the other day, again. Her agent convinced me I wasn’t going to snap her out of her writer’s block and get Fran write the Preface to my new book. But that would have been a dream.

2. Life of Brian. The one by Monty Python. This way I’m getting some religion, too.

3. Born Standing Up by Steve Martin. I’m guessing almost every major comedian has read this book.

4. The Smiths’ The Queen Is Dead. Funniest album ever. From the album, one of the twenty quotable lyrics, “And if a ten-ton truck kills the both of us, To die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.”

5. This Is Spinal Tap. Sometimes a cliche selection on a list like this is an unavoidable, but what can you do?

   

   Cartoon by Robert Weber from The New Yorker, January 22, 2001

6. The New Yorker, January 22, 2001. Highlights include the Shouts & Murmurs masterpiece, The Power List: My Family by Noah Baumbach and cartoons in the issue were by: George Booth, William Haefeli, J.C. Duffy, Edward Koren, Roz Chast, Frank Cotham, Lee Lorenz, Frank Cotham, William Steig, Victoria Roberts, Christopher Weyant, Mike Twohy, William Hamilton, Robert Weber, Charles Barsotti (2) and Bruce Eric Kaplan. All my favorite cartoonists and every one, a home run. (Wow, have things changed.)

   

   Cartoon by Bruce Eric Kaplan from The New Yorker, January 22, 2001

7. Speaking of which, I Love You, I Hate You, I’m Hungry by Bruce Eric Kaplan. One of the best cartoon collection by a major New Yorker contributor.

8. And Here’s the Kicker by Mike Sacks. Probably the best book if one is serious about learning how to write comedy.

9. Incident at Loch Ness. If you can every find this movie, it’s a wonderful underrated gem. Stars Werner Herzog in his funniest performance. (it’s actually on YouTube here.)

10. This Is a Book by Demetri Martin. The essays in this book are a cut above what is being published out there today.

From Writer’s Digest

From my upcoming book Footnotes From the Most Fascinating Museums (Chronicle Books, 2024). I have now finished 200 illustrations for the book and have just a few left to go.

Maryhill Museum

A 3-Hour Pitch, A 3-Hour Pitch:

The Selling of CSI Gilligan’s Island

by Bob Eckstein

(from Big Laugh Comedy.com)

With reboots of shows like Magnum P.I. Fantasy Island, Night Court, and now Frasier, it’s time for the reboot we’ve all been waiting for, Gilligan’s Island. The classic ‘60s sitcom has been the subject of reboot rumors for years but finally this new vision catches up with the times and is sure to be a hit again. This time around it’s a one-hour crime drama series called CSI Gilligan’s Island and the island is controlled by a Colombian drug-lord. The stories will come right off today’s headlines.

Cast:

The Skipper :: Lizzo

Gilligan :: Awkwafina

Ginger Grant :: RuPaul

Mary Ann Summers :: Courtney Love

The Professor :: Tig Notaro

Billionaire Thurston Howell, III :: Eugene Levy

Mrs. Lovely Howell :: Catherine O’Hara

Sergeant Odafin “Fin” Tutuola :: Ice T

Griselda Santacruz Herrera Escobar :: Sofia Vergara

The Harlem Globetrotters as themselves

Season 1

Episode 1

“Explosivos” 

When Ginger is voted off the island, she demands a recount and an extremist group attempts to overtake the island. Sergeant Fin gives them an education in US law enforcement. The Professor is indicted for providing the radical group with hand-grenades made out of coconuts. 

Episode 2

“There’s No Business Like No Means No”

Mr Howell produces a play to cheer up Ginger, but only makes things worse when she exposes his casting couch to the Feds. Scarface, the Musical is canceled after opening night. 

Episode 3

“Hunters & Gathers & Contractors”

While hunting for wild berries, Gilligan finds classified documents. The Skipper and Griselda engage in a Twitter war; the castaways hire a qualified, licensed builder through Angie to fix the boat, but after one day, he never shows up again. 

Episode 4

“The Crying Game” 

Griselda’s men come and torture Gilligan who is taken out to sea and left for dead. Mary Ann bakes a banana bread; Ginger reveals a huge surprise to the Professor and they disappear together for two days. 

Episode 5

“Sea Shells and Elbows”

Something’s fishy when body parts begin washing up on shore. The Professor pieces them together and using AI technology, trains a personal robot to kill the Skipper. Mary Ann wonders if she left the oven on back home.

Episode 6

“UnHappy Ending”

A Disney Cruise Line arrives but is hi-hacked by the island’s drug-lords. In a hostage situation, the demand for the release of the 3,800 passengers is banana bread and a full-body massage from Ginger. Two parter.

Episode 7

“You Are Served”

FBI arrive on island and Thurston Howell is arrested on the attempted murder of his wife, Lovely. Gilligan is hit on the head by a serve during the island’s pickleball championships and wakes thinking she is finance expert Suze Orman. 

Episode 8

“A Star Is Born”

Using two coconuts and parts from the Minnow’s radio, the Professor makes a meth lab and regains power over Escobar. Ginger works on her audition tape for America’s Got No Talent. 

Episode 9

“Men At Twerk”

Everyone signs up for twerking classes and go viral on TikTok. Carrot Top drops by, making the castaways question why they get Amazon deliveries yet can’t get off the island. 

Cartoon by Michael Maslin from The New Yorker

Three Questions. Is there anyone more knowledgeable about The New Yorker than cartoonist Michael Maslin? Go to Inkspill to enjoy all his observations pertaining to the New Yorker cartoon world.

Bob Eckstein: Were you the class clown?

Michael Maslin: It depends on what year and what class, but mostly, no, There was one moment in 8th grade wood-shop class, when the teacher had had it with my shenanigans, and ordered me to put on a cardboard “dunce cap” and sit on a tall stool in the corner of the class. Highlight of my year.

BE: When’s the last time you laughed out loud?

MM: Today. I was looking through hundreds of George Booth cartoons. 

BE: Which cartoon tropes have overstayed their welcome?

MM: I think there might be a dollop of humor left in every one, if squeezed thoughtfully. 

Been thinking over in my head about Jane Friedman’s profane quote in her latest Electric Speed newsletter, “It’s easy to make $ doing what people need or want. It's hard to make $ doing only what you prefer.” As much as I love creating cartoons, I know what I need to do (I just heard almost the same thing said by the great Jeff Garlin on my favorite podcast Greg Fitzsimmons’s Fitz Dog Radio)

Jeff Garlin’s quote was along the line of; “Do your passion but make a living doing what you’re great at…” Since February I have done over 200 paintings for this upcoming museum book. I am exhausted. But I went from doing crappy work to improving and it really hit home that working on that many paintings for months and being surrounded by so much great art at museums, it was impossible not to see some improvement. And start to really enjoy painting. I could do this every day now the rest of my life.

I’m not taking any of this lightly. Within the cartoon community there has been speculation as to who have retired early. My blunt assessment on this, from those I have spoken with, is there are two groups. Those with a day job or financial security who have no intention of stopping and don’t have to, and those who don’t have that choice, who had hoped/planned to make cartoons their main source of income or did in the past, but are now putting down their pencils. There are outliners in this group but this is increasingly rare.

There was a time I would get emails inquiring about buying cartoon originals. I still get a lot of emails but they are always like this one:

Subject: yuh

Can we talk for business here?

Mr. Somchai Posawang

This issue I have shout-outs to the following:

Gil Roth, host of the Virtual Memories Show came out with Haiku for Business Travelers #2. He can be reached for a possible copy at groth18@gmail.com.

Switching Tracks: the Blog About Changing Your Mind is by writer and artist Donna Lewis.

Cartoonist David DeGrand has a new book out called Snot Goblins. I believe it’s for children. See the very cool cover here.

Drumroll….this issue The Felix goes to, wait, there’s a tie (you decide and let me know which you love more): Robert Leighton for this cartoon in Wall Street Journal and Chris Weyant’s new cartoon for AirMail.

Robert Leighton is actually a puzzle master, too, and has an analytical mind. You can learn more about Robert at his website here. His cartoons can be found and purchased on The CartoonStock here.

Chris Weyant’s new children’s book, which he created with his award-winning wife, author Anna Kang (you’ve heard it here first, it’s who you know) has just come out and is called Marker. More of his cartoons can been seen on The CartoonStock here.

Just Answers is a new section found in the paid subscription and includes brutally honest, deep-dive critiques. In the interest of time, space and the inspiring cartoonists’ privacy, I do not post the question nor show the work discussed. I am posting one of the responses to my answer in the last issue to a “Please Prepare Yourself to Laugh.” Here is an excerpt of my answer, first to have some context:

To Mr. “Please Prepare Yourself to Laugh,”…Good news, bad news. You are too honest, too real to produce quality cartoons. Those two traits are treasured in potential life-mate. Nobody is going to say, I have to have her or him because of the way they draw cats…Bad news….so you being a wonderful person is holding you back…as a cartoonist. The annoying behavior of exaggerating and being flighty, are attributes helpful in only the vocation of cartooning. So to make the cartoons better, start lying not to just yourself but others.

“What an obnoxious, acute answer.” ––Name being withheld.

To H. in Ohio:

You may be the ONLY person without the email address to submit to The New Yorker. There are various ways to get it online and there was even a feature about this posted on their website. The Yankees don’t give an address for try-outs. Madison Square Garden doesn’t have an open mic. Never see anyone asking for the information on Quora, but cartoons? There are lines going out the door. Did it or did not not take longer to write me than to Google this information? No, I’m not giving it out.

To answer your second question, No, not really. I have a hard enough time getting into the magazine using regular words, why do I need to complicate things by trying to be the first cartoonist to use the F-bomb in the caption? I don’t use foul language in my day-to-day life. Besides, this was my livelihood, not a parlor game.

Send questions to Snowmanexpert@gmail.com

You can order this book, the postcard set or my other books through your local bookstore. If you have to shop online go to Bookshop…HERE.

And with that, this ends another issue of The Bob.

The Bob is published, approximately, monthly. Paid subscribers will receive additional issues which include longer humor pieces and deep-dive into humor advice.