What’s So Funny about Peace, Love and Writing Tips?
More talk about writing, the Big Game and the Big Show (The New Yorker)
This new edition of The Bob is coming to you one week earlier so it can be enjoyed before the game…and enjoyed during. Some readers have no interest in the game and I have lots of writing tips and resources for you writers to explore below. Some from the best in publishing including Marlon James and Beverly Jenkins.
My Top Ten Rejected Magazine Submissions This Week
What Else to Watch During the Big Game and How To Gamble On It
“What is Your Over or Under?” and Other Pithy Super Bowl Party Pick-Up Lines
R-rated Super Bowl Prop Bets To Make With Your Wife or Partner
How To Convince a Reluctant Co-Worker To Play In Super Bowl Squares Pool
The Jake From State Farm Drinking Game
Comebacks at Super Bowl Party to Those Who Don’t Know Whose Playing
How To Make Your Super Bowl Party a Woke Super Bowl Party
Hold All Bets! Until You Create a Game Model Using Roomba Vacuums
You Had No Plans For New Years and Now No Super Bowl Invites; Let’s Talk
Why Your Idea Of Having Our Super Bowl Party In a Beer Garden is a Lousy Idea And Stop Referring To It As OUR Party
A lot of feedback regarding my talk about other worlds from the previous newsletter. Those I heard from, were in agreement…
“I wonder if it matters anymore. Meaning: maybe we're finally in a time when readership doesn't care about who they're seeing…that modern readers do not expect worlds––they just expect cartoons.” ––anonymous veteran cartoonist
And many elaborated by discussing the issue of crossing over into others’ worlds. There have been some funny, clever cartoons of late that seem to be very similar to others’ style. We all (most? Okay, many?) start out mimicking our inspirations and I copied my idols starting out, too, consciously and subconsciously. It’s part of growing and learning. But eventually you find your voice and groove…before you are published, it’s no harm, no foul.
2) There is a rash of scam job offers. It usually includes promises of being paid immediately up front for providing artwork for a workshop for a good cause. They wire you money and there’s an overpay and then that’s when the fun begins in attempts for an adjustment and you learn in fact you never got wired any money at all.
My advice? Do not work for a place not providing credentials. Even then, it’s difficult. As I write this client in Spain insists they can only pay me by wire transfer. EVERY email nowadays looks and sounds at the same time legitimate and suspicious. Hard to tell if any freelance gig now will lead to me being stranded on a dirt runway on a Nigerian airport. I definitely got ripped off twice, from one person I knew well and one one person I meet in person, contributing to their Kickstarter “charities.”
All I can say is be super careful. Never send anyone money claiming they overpaid you. Never expect any of the rewards from Kickstarter funds. And do not work for anyone named Jorge Ortiz or James Greb (the name on the scam emails I got last week).
Feel free to disagree or share here, anonymously or not, if you wish.
I will promote other cartoon and humor newsletters each issue. Here are four I randomly chose that I subscribe to:
Jason Chatfield’s thoughtful and insightful New York Cartoons newsletter. He is Prez of the National Cartoonists Society. They have a live Zoom meeting tonight (Monday) at 8pm EST HERE. Members only “…but applying for membership isn't as convoluted as it once was––tell them to visit nationalcartoonists.com/how-to-join. If they are keen to see it and are still waiting for the application to be processed, tell them to email Karen at nationalrep@nationalcartoonists.com to get access.”
Helpful link: 50+ Humor Writing Websites to Read and Submit To I cannot vouch for any of the mentioned places but I will endorse…
Weekly Humorist run by friend Marty Dundics. Click to submit.
I hope that helps. An excellent source of fun advice is Free Advice Fridays run by friend and amazing publishing consultant Keri-Rae Barnum.
From a a linguistics professor Arnold Zwicky, whose blog often analyzes cartoons…
Question: So you drew this—really fine—cartoon featuring a bearded cartoonist in a hospital bed, post-simectomy. Cartoonists often (intentionally) base their depictions of their characters on real-life persons (sometimes famous people, sometimes just friends); others, including the models, might disagree on the degree of likeness in such depictions. Also, a cartoonist creating the fresh image of a generic character will sometimes inadvertently draw something resembling a real person (by sheer happenstance—every such image is going to resemble someone—or by its bubbling up from bits of memory). So, two separate questions, one having to do with your intentions (were you drawing an (affectionate) cartoon likeness of Sam Gross?), one having to do with the cartoon cartoonist's likeness to Gross (does the character look like Gross? in whose judgment?). I assume you were aiming for Gross, and I judge that to be an excellent cartoon likeness of him, though others might differ.
NOTE: This is reference to the following piece which ran in The Daily Cartoonist. Thanks to journalist D.D. Degg for the shout-out for The Bob newsletter. To clarify, cartoonist Sam Gross did the cover of the book on the right published by Princeton Architectural Press. The cartoon on the left was by me and published in The New Yorker.
Answer: Arnold, I did not intend to draw Sam. But friends have since said it is a dead ringer for him. I have been accused of making my doctors look like my doctors, women in crowd scenes look like my exes and men in scenes look like my brother Joe. It is never intentional but as I draw faces without reference and use the library in my head, these faces come pouring out onto the page, by accident as these are the faces I have seen the most or saw the most and cannot seem to forget.
Super Bowl Q & A With the Mount Rushmore of Defensive Coaches
We interviewed the greatest defensive minds in history on how to coach for this upcoming Super Bowl. Their answers were enlightening and essential reading before laying down any money on the Big Game.
Bill Belichick is considered the greatest defensive head coach ever and holds the record for the most Super Bowl wins (6) and the league’s worst post-game interviews.
Knute Rockne is regarded as the greatest coach in college football history. During the 13 years he coached Notre Dame, Rockne win over 100 games, three national championships and his .881 winning percentage was the highest in history. His motivational rants are available on vinyl records.
Buddy Ryan has coached the greatest defensive teams in NFL history including the Super Bowl III victors, N.Y. Jets, Minnesota’s Purple People Eaters, the Philadelphia Eagles of the late ‘80s and he masterminded the 46 Defense for the Super Bowl ‘85 Chicago Bears. The Bears have not played defense since.
Run Your Pool: How do you stop Patrick Mahomes?
Bill Belichick: [barely audible] I ran some analytics and instead of putting a player to mirror him I would use edge rushers to contain him in the pocket [long silence] and take it one series at a time.
Knute Rockne: You gotta go. YOU GO, GO, GO! WE’RE GOING TO RUN HIM RIGHT, WE’RE GOING TO RUN HIM LEFT AND WHEN WE FINISH RUNNING HIM, WE ARE GOING TO RUN HIM SOME MORE!
Buddy Ryan: Overrated, overpaid. First you put three or four Reggie Whites on him. Next, I’d have Mike Singletary blitz on every play. I designed one play where William “The Fridge” Perry just sits on Mahomes. Everyone gets bonuses for late hits. So that’s the plan. We take a few roughing-the-quarterback penalties and knock the son-of-a-bitch out of the game.
RYP: The Super Bowl has a super long halftime. What do you tell your team if they’re protecting a one-score lead?
Bill Belichick: I just tell them to play one series at a time…[long silence]…what we won’t be doing is looking into the ball’s air pressures and see what we can do there.
Knute Rockne: I will get up on a soapbox and tell my men, “YOU GOTTA GO OUT THERE AND RUN, RUN, RUN! RUN RIGHT, RUN LEFT, AND GO, GO, GO! NOW, GO OUT THERE AND WIN ONE FOR THE GIPPER!”
Buddy Ryan: One-score? What the hell you talking about? We will be up by three or four scores by halftime. Ditka and I plan to grab some beers and watch the halftime show with the cheerleaders.
RYP: Who do you think is going to win?
Bill Belichick: The better team. [long silence] I’m not going to worry about that until the 4th quarter… [barely audible] the score will dictate who wins.
Knute Rockne: The Gipper is going to win this one and do you know why? Because WE’RE GOING TO HIT THEM HIGH, WE’RE GOING TO HIT THEM LOW AND THEN WE’RE GOING TO RUN, RUN, RUN…
Buddy Ryan: I put three bills on the Eagles to cover, got money on the Over and $50 on Rihanna having a titty wardrobe malfunction.
Drum roll…this issue The Felix goes to Kim Warp.
Very clever by one of my favorite cartoonists, this cartoon appeared in The New Yorker and I wish I had thought of myself.
I was told by Substack to add my face to the newsletter––it helps connect with my readers. Feeling a connection yet?
The Bob is published every second Monday morning of the month.
I think that snowman deserves to be plowed for using such a small iPhone. He's deliberately mocking my poor eyesight!