I am writing this during the middle of the night. It’s one of those nights I absolutely cannot fall asleep. It often happens when during the day I do something poorly that I used to be good at. Then I spend the night upset and beating myself up. Sometimes it’s a poor illustration or the inability to come up with a good cartoon. Last night it was doubles tennis. The fact I no longer play as well as I remember I played, has me beside myself for no logical reason. I know. Who cares? I always feel in those times compelled to apologize to all those I think I somehow disappointed, who could care less.
So I spent hours doing a deep dive, reading a click-bait article called, The Most Annoying Songs Of All Time. And it was really annoying. All the usual suspects were there, making the situation worse, as now I had ear-worms keeping me awake, repeating over and over, “At the Copa, Copacabana…”
I’ve been done to stay away from news, to help sleep, too. Of course, as much as I promise myself to keep away from the news, some always sneaks in. I will try to keep politics to a minimum here, again, for now (I did just contribute to two projects focused on the biggest bully in the world. Ironically, his wife’s one cause is an anti-bullying campaign.).
After reading everyone’s Wikipedia page in the middle of the night, I decided to write my memoir. Writers complain the gargantuan task of writing a memoir. It took me two hours. I wrote an abridged version, convinced no one needed to suffer through all the details. Just the gist is enough. My life’s lessons summed up on two pages. Double-spaced. I will share it once it is officially published.
Some of you were included—I am very proud that this newsletter is literally read by some of the funniest people in the world. SNL writers, Pythons, brilliant stand-ups, some of the best humorists of our generation (yes, I may be talking about you)…the very people who are the reason I wanted to be in humor.
One person I will single out is writer Mike Reiss…because he has a new Substack called, “Now I’ve Seen Everything!” which he describes as, “weekly dispatches and photos [of] my weird and dangerous travels…It’s free, it’s funny, and it’s free.” Mike has traveled around the world and wrote for The Simpsons for 36 years. And he is one of the funniest people, ever. Subscribe HERE.
The Election
My first impression was, the election was rigged. How could the owl beat out the beautiful lighthouse? And by quite a lot. But that’s not the whole story. What wasn’t on the ballot was “BOTH.” I received endless (okay, thirty) comments, on the side, deploring me to incorporate a rotating schedule displaying both sides of the painting, somehow, and now this is what must be done. Thank you all for voting…especially those who voted for the lighthouse.
New Poll
I have been waiting for a response to any of my nine texts, three phone messages, and one skywriting message from a contractor who agreed to come to our house and execute an important repair. I would have an easier time locating Bigfoot, and I mean that with all sincerity.
I’m excited to share the latest book, You're Not a Real Dog Owner Until..., by the scary talented, comedian/cartoonist Jason Chatfield with his comrade co-writer, Scott Dooley. The publisher describes it as: “The definitive reflection of what it is to be a dog owner/parent, from dog park politics to inevitable messes and all the fun and love in between….A cross between The Far Side and For Dummies!”
A new sponsor, the Benefit Shop, has great auctions and fun stuff. Click on their ad below to check out their upcoming auction this Wednesday.
Here is my Pick of the Week at that auction. Or click on image to bid.
I have been thinking about trains lately.
If anyone wants a signed bookplate and bookmark for their museum book, just let me know and send me your mailing address. I can also personalize it, if you plan to give it as a gift.
We built this city. We built this city. We built this city on rock and roll. And with that, I will say good night.
The correct answer on contractor was one week, but the setup led me to think you had waited a week.
If not, you sound like a problematic client, so… whattidyooexpeck.
What nobody needs is a contractor with lots of extra time on their hands.
That contractor pool was very helpful; I’m in a similar situation. May we both find someone who will show up before 2042.